By valuing myself and my experiences, I am producing the best work of my career and working better within the organization. I always knew the importance of motivating my team and positively reinforcing behavior, but now, I do it with a genuine sense of care and appreciation.
If you replayed my life a hundred times, most outcomes would likely see me in a career involving manual labor or, worse, crime. I grew up in a lower middle-class community nestled within diverse area of Massachusetts. People were mobile and opportunity was visible but, within my adolescent peer set, most people my age aspired to be a gangster and were most often destined for life in a union job or in the service industry at best. My path through school was anything but straightforward; I flunked out of various state schools and had to supplement credits from community colleges. Before I was legally old enough to drink, I started working in construction under a flooring contractor to supplement my income after my parents made it clear they would no longer financially support my collegiate career.
In construction, I learned a trade that would provide me a fallback if school didn’t provide a clear path to a stable income. More importantly, I absorbed a work ethic that shaped who I am today and realized that I didn’t want to perform manual labor for the rest of my life.
I have applied this work ethic to school, the gym, my professional life, parenting, and, well, handling conflicts with others. It’s been difficult to argue with the results. It worked damn well.
When I entered the world of advertising, I found myself surrounded by colleagues who seemed to be of a different socioeconomic background from mine with credentials from top schools. I was a former bouncer. Whether true or not, I couldn’t help but feel as though my rough edges were obvious and causing me to be looked down upon. I felt somewhat inadequate and very much like an imposter in a realm where I did not belong. My aggressive work ethic quickly became fueled by a burning “fuck you” attitude.
This paranoia of anger and inadequacy drove me. “I’ll show them,” I thought. In my estimation, they thought they were better than me, but my rigor, drive, and intensity pushed me to prove them wrong. Success brought feelings of validation, though it was a slow process.
As a leader now, I want the people under me to feel like they belong. The steps to accomplish this are simple: acknowledge their efforts, recognize their hard work, and be vulnerable. As my approach has evolved to become less aggressive, I realize that my work quality has remained high, even as my demeanor has softened. My current output comes from love and contentment rather than spite, unlocking a new element that has added texture to my leadership style: professional affection.
I now realize that, regardless of our backgrounds or experiences, we all share the same goals and frustrations common in this industry. Biases and first impressions are human nature but largely unimportant, so I prefer to let my work and results speak for me. By lowering my granite facade and allowing myself to be more vulnerable, I have become more relatable to my team and coworkers. The old adage that people do business with those they like holds true in management as well: people will work hard for those they want to see succeed. Being humble and candid has added depth to my character and allowed others to embrace me professionally.
Leadership isn’t just about driving results through sheer force. It’s about fostering an environment where everyone feels valued and motivated. By embracing my journey and the lessons learned along the way, I’ve become a more effective and compassionate leader.
Motivation is critical to success, but it will only carry you so far. I used to roll my eyes when people talked about needing to love what you do, but I’ve recently come to see the importance of that. More important than any of this is loving yourself and recognizing the value of your work and the role you play within your organization.
Loving what you do fuels passion and persistence, but self-love and self-worth are the foundations of true success. When you see the value in your work and understand your importance within the organization, you unlock a deeper level of engagement and satisfaction. This not only enhances your performance but also positively impacts those around you.
By embracing self-love and recognizing your contributions, you set an example for your team. They see the importance of valuing themselves and their work, creating a positive and motivated environment. When everyone understands their worth, it fosters a culture of mutual respect and collective success.
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